No bull shit this really happened.
I am in the back yard b-s’ing with my $WIFE. Talking about nothing important, just enjoying the weather.

This is the chicken $WIFE caught.
$DOG is just walking around then out of no where $DOG goes absolutely ape. I mean hair is flying everywhere. I yell to tell the dog to shut the hell up. Then $WIFE goes over to see what $DOG is so upset about. Then $WIFE says “oh my $DEITY a chicken!” I say to $WIFE shut the hell up. I walk over to the area that $DOG is still going ape over. Sure enough, there is a flippin’ chicken. A real live black chicken.

These are the bonds I am referring to
$WIFE deftly catches the chicken. The Chicken went docile and all was well. Until we notice, the chicken has its legs tied together. What the hell is up with that? I don’t get why someone would tie the legs of a chicken together.
I love chicken. I love the taste. It is awesome. Treating animals like that before you kill them makes absolutely no sense. Were they trying to fatten it up?
I then called the local animal services center. We cut the bonds and they took the chicken.
Whether you find this story tragic or funny as hell I have to say yesterday was an odd day!